Friday, June 29, 2012
Happy
I just want to be happy. I am better than this. I deserve better than this. I am more than this.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
A dream
I had a dream last night that has made me think. Just wanted to write it down so I can remember it.
I dreamt that I was in wv, with my husband I believe. There were odd parts & visiting with Gary from teen mom. No clue what that was about, they're not even from there. Lol Anyways then we went up in the mountains & my Momow was there. She lived there in this dream. I think I didn't know she was there, cause I was shocked to see her. We were going to be leaving to come back
Home & I talked to her & she said for me to come over the next day so we can visit @215 (odd time I know). I cried saying I missed her, & spending time with her all the time, &talking to her, & begged her to move back to mi. She said she wont be coming back & that I need to go on, that she is happy where she is. We had to get back for Chris to be able to go back to work, but we ended up staying. The mountains were there & it was very pretty. & that's about all I can remember.
What's weird about this dream is my Momow is buried in WV, me & my husband go there every year
In september to put flowers on her grave. After she passed away, to make it easier on me instead of accepting the truth I would tell myself she was just on vacation in wv. It helped me cope, because the truth was too hard to accept. So I don't know what the meaning of this dream is. Dream experts say that if a loved one visits you in your dream, it's really them. I don't know how true this is since I guess no one can ever really know for sure. But I just wanted to write about it. I think in my dream Momow was younger. But anyways, anyone out there that actually read this & are good at interpreting dreams, feel free to comment.
Momow has been gone for 5 years in September. My Momow was the most important person in my life, she was always there for me. Lately I have thought about how much I've needed her advice, been going thru some things & I have been thinking how differently things would be if I still had her to turn to. If i still had her support, had her to guide me. Had her encouragement to go after my dreams, lately I haven't really had anyone to turn to. I mean I have people in my life, but no one like Momow. She believed in me like no one else could. She wanted nothing else but the best for me. She wanted me to be the best I could be, she wanted me to go after my dreams. I wanted nothing more than to make her proud. Last few years I don't have that drive. Because I don't have anyone behind me pushing me to succeed. So it's like everything I worked for is gone& I don't care to even try anymore. Cause it doesn't even matter. At least that's how I have been feeling. So stressed out, so alone. So not feeling like myself. Somewhere along the way I've lost myself. Who am I anymore? I don't even know anymore.
Krystal
I dreamt that I was in wv, with my husband I believe. There were odd parts & visiting with Gary from teen mom. No clue what that was about, they're not even from there. Lol Anyways then we went up in the mountains & my Momow was there. She lived there in this dream. I think I didn't know she was there, cause I was shocked to see her. We were going to be leaving to come back
Home & I talked to her & she said for me to come over the next day so we can visit @215 (odd time I know). I cried saying I missed her, & spending time with her all the time, &talking to her, & begged her to move back to mi. She said she wont be coming back & that I need to go on, that she is happy where she is. We had to get back for Chris to be able to go back to work, but we ended up staying. The mountains were there & it was very pretty. & that's about all I can remember.
What's weird about this dream is my Momow is buried in WV, me & my husband go there every year
In september to put flowers on her grave. After she passed away, to make it easier on me instead of accepting the truth I would tell myself she was just on vacation in wv. It helped me cope, because the truth was too hard to accept. So I don't know what the meaning of this dream is. Dream experts say that if a loved one visits you in your dream, it's really them. I don't know how true this is since I guess no one can ever really know for sure. But I just wanted to write about it. I think in my dream Momow was younger. But anyways, anyone out there that actually read this & are good at interpreting dreams, feel free to comment.
Momow has been gone for 5 years in September. My Momow was the most important person in my life, she was always there for me. Lately I have thought about how much I've needed her advice, been going thru some things & I have been thinking how differently things would be if I still had her to turn to. If i still had her support, had her to guide me. Had her encouragement to go after my dreams, lately I haven't really had anyone to turn to. I mean I have people in my life, but no one like Momow. She believed in me like no one else could. She wanted nothing else but the best for me. She wanted me to be the best I could be, she wanted me to go after my dreams. I wanted nothing more than to make her proud. Last few years I don't have that drive. Because I don't have anyone behind me pushing me to succeed. So it's like everything I worked for is gone& I don't care to even try anymore. Cause it doesn't even matter. At least that's how I have been feeling. So stressed out, so alone. So not feeling like myself. Somewhere along the way I've lost myself. Who am I anymore? I don't even know anymore.
Krystal
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