I can't believe it is already March. It has been one year today the last time I ever took my dad out to dinner. March 1st, it was a Friday evening as like every weekend. We would pick him up and take him to eat. We had out favorite place country chef in Troy. We went there, I had lasagna as I always do. My dad had veal parm I believe. The seniors one, the senior portion is huge. I believe it was veal parm. He was his happy joyful self telling jokes happy as can be. His job was extending longer and was glad to be getting back on his feet. See my dad was a plumber, he worked for the union. He made very good money. But the last few years in Michigan it's been slow. Anyways, we talked and had a good time. Little did I know that was the very last time we'd go out to dinner with him. It was one of my favorite things to look forward to. We would talk about whatever came to mind. I remember showing him a picture I had just took of marley (our dog), spooning my husband. I set it up. I might include pic. Actually I think I will. Husband will not be happy, but he doesn't read this. It will be at the bottom. He laughed at it. My dad was just as happy as can be. I had no idea the dark cloud was headed his way. I had no clue. We had a great dinner as always. Then we dropped him off at home. My husband probably borrowed some of his hunter sausages from him as he always did. My dad always had hunter sausages. Nom. My dad made jokes in the car as he always did. He was truly one of the best people to be around. He was excited about the jimmy Marvin benefit coming up the next day. That Saturday. Looking back, I can't believe what happened did. He was fine! He wanted for me and my husband to go to the benefit the next day since the famiky goes, but I said no. Too many people I really didn't care to see. :/ I wish I wish I would have went. Maybe I could have noticed some signs. I don't even know. What I do know, is that day with him out to eat was a good day. Had I of known it was my last meal with my dad, I would have said or done something so he knew just how much he meant to me.
The world has just kept moving this past year, but i still feel like I am standing still. This world I am living in, doesn't seen like mine. Because what kind if world is this without such an amazing genuine person like my dad? I am not me anymore. Because the person I was when my dad was here is gone. He made me a better person. He lit up the room with his laughter and smile. He had the sense of humor you couldn't help but notice. He was the best man I knew. Times keeps moving on, but I'm still standing still. Others have moved on, and that pisses me off. How do you not care? How do you just go on and not mention him? I guess I am bitter, I'm mad, I'm depressed and I just want my dad back.
I don't even know where I was going with this. It's choppy and probably has some spelling errors. But whatever. I'll edit later.
Dad if I had known that was the last happy time id seen you, I would have enjoyed out visit much longer. I would have really listened to want you were saying. I wouldn't have taken it for granted. I miss you more now, and it's just getting worse. I love you dad. You forever be the biggest part of me. Thanks for being my dad. I was the luckiest girl in the world. It broke my heart to lose you, it's a pain no one could understand. They say life goes on, and it does, but it's never the same. Ever.
The pic me and my dad discussed at dinner.
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