How?

How is it I am living in a world without my dad in it? How am I still here? Why? I'm focusing all my energy into remodeling his house, for him. I know he's not there to live in it. But it needs to be perfect for him. I miss him so much, I can't even explain it. I can't understand it, and I don't want to believe it. It's been 7 months since I saw him. I just can't fathom him truly being gone. 

That's all I can muster today.